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"I have died everyday waiting for you" This isn't like me.. To post here, to spend my time expressing a feeling, to strangers, that I can't seem to shake, no matter how hard I try, on a stupid website. Perhaps that is just it, perhaps I have stopped trying and accepted that I feel something that will never completely go away.. And with this I can let go. The feeling will remain but I can get on with life. We've never had each other, not in the way that I wish we could have tried, given a shot at. But we did have our chance. And it passed so quickly, those few years ago, when you made your decision. Maybe you will read this, maybe you won't. That is of no concern to me anymore.. This is a way for me to send my love into the void and hope in some way you feel it. If you have found someone new, I hope she is better than those in your past. I hope they love you the way you deserve to be loved. In secret, by me, you are loved, admired, respected and accepted just as you are. The good and bad alike.. I'm lucky to have known you in my lifetime. I truly feel blessed. I'm an optimist, I may not have you the way I would like, but I see the good in the situation rather than on how I feel cheated.. I guess this rant boils down to an expression of love. One that I would like to share with the world, even if I don't have you by my side while I do it. Despite how it may appear on the surface most days, I will always be looking at you through loving eyes.

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What do I want? A woman to be my friend with Benefits I guess :) So I am married, but I think it's ending. Looking for a sweet, fun, cute woman to get to know, , in very good shape and go to the gym quite a bit. Dress nice, look good, take care of yourself well. meaning pedi's and mani's often. I like a woman who smells good and cares about how she looks. I like a woman with a spunky personality, someone I look forward to talking to when I am at work, or at night. someone who likes to email back and forth often, and suprise me with cute emails. I would text with discretion of course, and talk on the . Need discretion until marriage goes official separated as not yet.

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